The Most Important Question To Ask Ourselves

I just broke up with Hollywood. Ok, so it wasn’t a bird in the pocket – no official offer had been put on the table. But we were certainly on our way to a long-term relationship – what looked, on the surface, like a dream come true: fame and fortune (relatively speaking), my creation paired with the rich and famous. All I had to do was produce a viable plan with numbers and commit to it. I could do that. Any half-wit could do that. So why, on the eve of engagement, did I break it off?

I realized, I prefer peace to power.

Starting your own business is the American Dream – it’s how one escapes the oppressing sensation of “working for the man”, of sacrificing one’s unique gifts for a steady paycheck. In a sense, it’s what I’ve been after for my entire adult life. The closer I got, the more I began to question what I really wanted in life.

Sure, it would be very glamorous to have my own mezcal brand, and even more so with the backing of investors with big connections. But after weeks of pouring over a business plan and tweaking spreadsheets, I began to understand that starting a brand in this way – with a load of money, little knowledge of the US industry, and investors to answer to – would mean that my years ahead would essentially be filled with stress and bureaucracy.

Is that what I wanted? The veneer of a successful life, with the mass of days doing something I despise?

It’s interesting that the common view of people is that when a golden opportunity presents itself, it should be snatched up immediately. Most of my friends would congratulate me and encourage me to jump on such a chance. But I suppose that’s because they’re not required to inspect said treasure to see if it’s actually 14 karat gold, or simply gold plated. 

It took giving myself a taste of that stressful lifestyle to understand that what I want is to work with mezcaleros, educate others about mezcal, and have a satisfying, enjoyable lifestyle with a steady income. I don’t need to make a name for myself, I don’t need to get rich or to party with the famous, I don’t need to own my own brand. Hell, I don’t even need to export! Those things may eventually come to pass, but better they do so naturally as I focus on creating an authentic storyline, and building a business at a pace I’m prepared for.

One of Noel’s favorite psychological games to play with confused people is to ask the simple question: “What do you want?” Usually, the questionee fumbles around with a story of answers, none very clear. So Noel asks again, and again, and again (to the point you want to slap him, laugh out loud, or break down crying), 

“What do you want?”

It’s such a simple, yet profound question, and in most cases, we forget to stop and ask ourselves that question – really ask ourselves. Instead we spin circles in attempt to navigate the waters of the future based on what we think is possible, and what we think makes sense.

What happens when I throw all those limitations out the window, and ask myself simply, “What do I really want?”. What is the essence of what I want? What does it feel like? How do would my daily routine be? What would give me that?

After writing this blog, I came across this video. Vishen Lakhiani suggests a new way of setting goals and living a fulfilling life. Watch the video and then ask yourself, “What do I want?”. What are your end goals? Share them with me in the comments!

 

  5 comments for “The Most Important Question To Ask Ourselves

  1. April 7, 2016 at 5:21 am

    My end goal…freedom
    No restrictions on my time.
    Less obligations, more wide open spaces.
    The ability to be spontaneous. Or not.
    Making my time, my time.
    But also making a living and being comfortable.
    Abundance. Joy. Sunshine on my forehead.

    • Rachel Glueck
      April 8, 2016 at 2:51 am

      Yes! I hear that! But also…
      For the last couple of years, I’ve pretty much had all the time in the world – no real obligations. At least while I’m in Mexico not working a traditional job. But you know – I squander it. God, to I squander it. There’s something really helpful about having some work, some commitments, some routine – makes you appreciate and utilize your free time. I’m actually suffering a lot because I’ve been completely unable to make a routine for myself and do less of the stuff I’d like to do because of it!

  2. Kymberly Henson
    April 7, 2016 at 1:33 pm

    Great post. And you are so wise to keep asking yourself “what do I want?” When you get to that deep level of the question, it is so different than the surface level.
    On a surface level, I want enough money so that I’m not worried about paying bills and health insurance so that we’re not terrified of an unexpected medical event costing us our home and everything else.
    On a deeper level, I want a life with less. Less obligation, less clutter, both time wise and physically.
    More unclaimed time to be with people I love and to allow me the mental and emotion space to tap into my creative self.
    More travel in the places I already love, like Mexico, and to the places I think I could love.
    And definitely more swimming!

    • Rachel Glueck
      April 8, 2016 at 2:53 am

      I like where your priorities are. Unfortunately, the US system as it is makes it hard to pursue those American rights of life, liberty and happiness. You know…health insurance is reeeeally cheap in Mexico! Something to think about… 😉

  3. April 9, 2016 at 1:32 am

    Good thoughts and a powerful realization Rachel. It seems you took a bold step to examine past the obvious “golden opportunity”. Sometimes those seemingly wonderful opportunities stand in front of us just so we are called to investigate what it is we Really want. Lately I have asked my clients, after an appropriate number of sessions, and having established their desires to lose weight, find more balance in their work and personal lives, improve their diets, etc etc. – “What do you Really Really want?” Yes, it’s a great question to ask ourselves.

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